Babysitter References: 25 Questions to Ask Before You Hire!

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Published on 09 September 2025

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Entrusting your child's care to someone new is one of the biggest decisions a parent faces. While a glowing resume and a charming interview might impress, they only scratch the surface of a candidate's true capabilities. The real, unfiltered perspective comes from those who've seen them in action – their previous employers.

This isn't just a formality; a thorough babysitter reference check is the single most critical step you can take to assess their real-world performance, uncover vital insights, and ultimately, ensure their suitability for your family and safeguard your children's well-being. This comprehensive guide will empower you with a structured, question-based approach, turning the daunting task of vetting into a confident hiring decision.

Image taken from the YouTube channel Nanny Institute , from the video titled Questions for Nanny References - Ultimate Guide to Hire a Nanny - Chapter 12 .

After reviewing applications and conducting a promising interview, you might feel ready to hire a new babysitter, but the most important step is still ahead.

Finding a babysitter you trust is about more than just a well-written resume and a charming interview. While those are important first impressions, they only show you what a candidate wants you to see. A thorough reference check is the single most critical step in the vetting process, transforming your decision from a hopeful guess into a confident choice. It is the only way to get a complete picture of who you are entrusting with your children's safety and well-being.

Think of a resume and interview as the candidate's carefully prepared presentation. They highlight their strengths and offer practiced answers. References, on the other hand, provide an unfiltered, third-party perspective on a candidate's real-world performance. A former employer has seen the candidate in action and can speak to the qualities that don't appear on paper.

A conversation with a reference can reveal crucial insights, such as:

Reliability and Punctuality: Did they consistently arrive on time and honor their commitments?

Real-World Problem-Solving: How did they handle a sudden fever, a toddler's tantrum, or an unexpected situation?

Engagement Style: Were they an active, engaging caregiver, or did they tend to be more passive?

Honesty and Integrity: Can they be trusted in your home and with your children?

Ultimately, checking references is a non-negotiable act of due diligence for your children's safety. It’s your opportunity to verify a candidate's claims and uncover any potential red flags that an interview might not reveal. This conversation allows you to ask direct questions about their judgment, attentiveness, and ability to maintain a safe environment.

Beyond safety, references help you determine if the babysitter is the right suitability for your family. A caregiver who was wonderful for a family with infants might not have the high-energy style needed for active school-aged children. References can speak to a candidate's communication style, disciplinary approach, and overall personality, helping you find someone who will not only protect your children but also fit seamlessly into your family's unique dynamic.

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A casual, unstructured chat with a reference is not enough. To truly gain the clarity you need, a methodical, question-based approach is essential. By asking each reference a consistent set of thoughtful questions, you can gather objective, comparable information that empowers you to make a fully informed hiring decision. This guide will provide you with that exact structure, laying out the specific questions you need to ask to protect your children and find the perfect caregiver for your family.

Now, let's equip you with the essential questions to ask about a candidate's core childcare experience and history.

Now that you understand why checking references is a non-negotiable step for ensuring your child's safety, let's equip you with the exact script to uncover a candidate's true experience.

Every reference check call should begin with a professional and clear introduction. Before diving into your questions, set a courteous tone by stating who you are, the name of the babysitter you are calling about, and the purpose of your call.

Example Script: "Hi [Reference's Name], my name is [Your Name]. I'm calling to conduct a reference check for [Candidate's Name], who has applied for a babysitting position with my family. Do you have a few minutes to speak with me about your experience with them?"

Once you've established context, your initial questions should focus on verifying the basic facts of their employment and understanding the core of their childcare experience. These foundational questions build a framework for the entire conversation.

Before you begin, it's helpful to understand the different categories of questions you'll be asking throughout the reference check process. This ensures you gather a well-rounded view of the candidate.

With this framework in mind, let's start with the first category: Experience & Background.

This is your starting point for verification. The goal is to confirm that the information the candidate provided on their resume or application matches what their previous employer reports.

Why it's important: Discrepancies in job titles or employment dates can be a red flag. It confirms their relationship with the reference and the timeline of their experience.

What to listen for: Listen for clear, confident answers that align with the candidate's resume. Any hesitation or significant difference in the timeline is worth noting.

This question moves beyond titles and into the practical, day-to-day reality of the job. You need to know if their past duties align with the needs of your family.

Why it's important: Caring for a 6-month-old infant requires a vastly different skill set than managing two school-aged children. This question clarifies whether their hands-on experience is relevant to your children's ages and your family's needs (e.g., meal prep, homework help, driving to activities).

What to listen for: Details. A good reference will be able to list specific duties like "prepared toddler meals," "managed nap schedules," or "helped with 2nd-grade math homework."

This open-ended question encourages the reference to provide specific, positive examples. It gives you insight into what makes the candidate stand out.

Why it's important: It helps you understand the candidate's best qualities from an objective perspective. Strengths like "incredibly patient," "creative and engaging," or "proactive about safety" are exactly what you want to hear.

What to listen for: Look for answers that go beyond generic praise. Specific anecdotes are a great sign (e.g., "She was amazing at coming up with rainy-day craft projects that kept the kids off screens").

This is often the most revealing question, but it must be phrased carefully to elicit an honest response. Framing it around "improvement" or "guidance" rather than "weaknesses" makes references more comfortable sharing constructive feedback.

Why it's important: No one is perfect. A reference's answer can reveal areas where the candidate may need support or may not be a good fit. It also tests the reference's credibility—if they only offer glowing praise, they may not be giving you the full picture.

What to listen for: Pay attention to both the "what" and the "how." A minor issue like "needed reminders about tidying the playroom" is very different from a major concern like "was often distracted by their phone."

The reason for their departure is a crucial piece of the puzzle. It helps clarify whether the employment ended on good terms and for a reasonable cause.

Why it's important: It validates the candidate's story. Legitimate reasons include the family moving, children starting school full-time, or the candidate moving for their own education. A vague or negative answer could signal an underlying issue that the candidate did not disclose.

What to listen for: A straightforward, logical reason that aligns with what the candidate told you. Any hesitation or unwillingness to answer is a cause for concern.

With a clear picture of their core experience now established, you can move on to assessing their dependability and professional conduct.

While a candidate's hands-on experience forms their foundation, their professional conduct and reliability are what make them a truly dependable partner for your family.

A babysitter's dependability is the bedrock of a successful and stress-free arrangement. When you entrust someone with your children, you're also trusting them to uphold their commitments, communicate clearly, and respect your home. These questions are designed to move beyond their childcare skills and probe into their core professionalism, ensuring the person you hire is someone you can count on, no matter what.

This is one of the most straightforward yet critical questions you can ask. A reference’s answer here will tell you volumes about the candidate's respect for the family’s schedule and their overall sense of responsibility.

What to Listen For:

Enthusiastic Confirmation: An immediate and positive response like, "Oh, they were fantastic! Always here five minutes early," is a strong indicator of reliability.

Hesitation or Vague Language: If the reference pauses or says something like, "For the most part, they were pretty good," it may be a red flag. Feel free to follow up gently with, "Could you give me an example of what you mean?"

Effective communication is the key to a smooth partnership. This question assesses whether the candidate is proactive in keeping you informed and receptive to your family's specific needs and rules. You need a sitter who not only hears instructions but actively listens and applies them.

Key Aspects of Communication:

Proactive Updates: Did the sitter send a quick text with a photo? Did they let the parent know if a child was having a tough time or, conversely, a wonderful time?

Responsiveness: When the parent reached out, did the sitter reply promptly?

Active Listening: Did they remember key instructions, such as allergy information, bedtime routines, or screen time limits?

Life is unpredictable. A parent might get stuck in traffic, or a planned evening out could be canceled. This question reveals a candidate’s flexibility, problem-solving skills, and grace under pressure. A great sitter can adapt to changes without causing additional stress for the family. Look for an answer that suggests the candidate was understanding, accommodating, and a calm presence during unexpected shifts in the plan.

Professionalism extends beyond just being on time. It encompasses how the sitter conducts themselves within the private, personal space of your home. This includes respecting established household rules (like no shoes on the carpet), cleaning up after themselves and the children, and maintaining the confidentiality of your family’s life. A reference’s confirmation on this point provides peace of mind that the candidate understands they are in a professional role, not just a casual one.

In today's connected world, this is a non-negotiable aspect of child safety and engagement. A sitter’s primary focus must be on the children. Excessive personal phone use, lengthy personal calls, or scrolling through social media is not just unprofessional—it's a safety hazard. A strong reference will confirm that the candidate was present and engaged, using their phone only for emergencies or to communicate with the parents.

Now that you have a clear picture of their professional conduct, it's time to delve into how they will engage with the most important people in the equation: your children.

While a caregiver's professional conduct is fundamental, how they connect with and guide your children is where the true partnership begins.

Finding a caregiver is about more than just hiring help; it's about welcoming someone into your child's life who will serve as a role model and guide. This makes it absolutely essential that their approach to child-rearing aligns with your family’s core parenting philosophy. Mismatched styles in discipline, daily routines, or engagement can create confusion for your child and friction in the relationship. These questions are designed to uncover the reference's firsthand experience with the candidate’s in-home approach.

A great caregiver doesn't just supervise; they actively and joyfully engage. You are looking for someone who forms a genuine, positive bond with your children.

This question gets straight to the most important perspective: the child's. A reference’s answer can reveal the nature of the emotional environment the caregiver created.

What to Listen For: Look for words like "excited," "loved," "looked forward to," or "at ease." A reference might say, "My youngest would run to the door when she arrived," which is a powerful indicator of a positive bond.

Red Flags: Hesitation or vague answers like "It was fine" can be telling. Be wary of comments that suggest a child was often withdrawn, anxious, or consistently unhappy when the caregiver was around.

This helps you differentiate between a passive sitter and a proactive caregiver. You want someone who will enrich your child’s day, not just pass the time.

Ideal Responses: A strong reference will offer specific examples. For instance: "She was amazing at coming up with creative, screen-free crafts," or "He was very active and always took them outside to the park or for walks to burn off energy."

What to Probe: If the answer is general, ask a follow-up: "Could you give me an example of an activity they did together?" This pushes for concrete evidence of their engagement style.

Discipline is one of the most critical areas for alignment. A gentle, positive-parenting family will struggle with an authoritarian caregiver, and vice versa. Your goal is to ensure consistency for your child.

This question requires the reference to recall specific, and sometimes difficult, moments. How a caregiver manages stress, tantrums, or sibling squabbles reveals their true temperament and methodology.

Look for Alignment: Does the reference’s description sound like how you would handle it? Listen for techniques that match your philosophy, such as:

Getting down on the child’s level to talk.

Using calm, clear language.

Employing redirection for toddlers.

Facilitating problem-solving between older children.

Validating feelings while holding firm boundaries (e.g., "I know you're upset, but we don't hit.").

Critical Red Flags: Any mention of yelling, shaming, punitive time-outs (as opposed to calming cool-down breaks), or physical discipline is a serious cause for concern if it misaligns with your family's values.

Consistency in routines provides children with a sense of security and stability. A great caregiver respects and upholds the structure you've created for your family.

Children thrive on predictability. A caregiver who dismisses or struggles to maintain your established schedule can disrupt a child's mood, sleep, and overall well-being. The reference should be able to confirm that the candidate was consistent and respectful of their family's daily rhythm.

In today's world, this is a non-negotiable topic. Every family has different rules, from "no screens at all" to "educational apps only." The key isn't whether the candidate's personal philosophy matches yours, but whether they have a proven track record of respecting and enforcing their employer's rules. Ask the reference, "Did they follow your household rules on screen time consistently?"

Understanding their day-to-day approach is vital, but equally crucial is knowing how they would react when faced with a crisis.

While understanding a candidate's approach to discipline is crucial, it's their ability to ensure your child's physical safety that forms the absolute bedrock of trust.

This section is the most critical part of your reference check. A nanny’s primary responsibility is to keep your child safe from harm, and their approach to safety and emergency preparedness is non-negotiable. These questions are designed to move beyond theoretical scenarios and uncover how they perform when it truly matters.

Start by asking the reference: "Did any emergencies, big or small, occur while they were on duty? If so, how did they handle the situation?"

This is the ultimate test of a caregiver's competence. Anyone can claim they would stay calm in a crisis, but this question reveals how they actually performed under pressure.

What to Listen For: A good response will detail a situation where the candidate was calm, decisive, and followed a clear protocol. Even small incidents, like a scraped knee or a bee sting, can reveal their level of preparedness and their ability to comfort a child while managing the situation.

Follow-Up Questions:

"How did they communicate the incident to you?"

"Did they seem flustered or confident?"

"Were you satisfied with the outcome and their handling of it?"

A lack of any incidents isn't necessarily a red flag—it could mean they were excellent at preventing them—but you must still probe their preparedness with the following questions.

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Next, inquire about their medical readiness: "Were you confident in their ability to handle a medical situation? Do you know if they have First Aid and CPR certification?"

Formal training in First Aid and CPR should be a mandatory requirement. It ensures a baseline knowledge of how to respond to common childhood injuries, choking, or a life-threatening event.

Why It Matters: Confidence is key. The reference’s perception of the nanny's confidence speaks volumes. A caregiver who is unsure or panics is a liability in a medical emergency.

What to Listen For: The reference may not know the exact status of their certification, but they can tell you if the topic ever came up or if the nanny’s conduct inspired confidence. Listen for phrases like, “Oh, absolutely. She was always very prepared” versus “I’m not sure, we never really discussed it.”

A great caregiver doesn't just react to danger—they prevent it. Ask the reference: "Did they demonstrate a proactive approach to safety in your home (e.g., awareness of choking hazards, playground safety)?"

This question helps you understand if the candidate has a built-in "safety radar." It's the difference between a babysitter and a professional caregiver.

Signs of a Proactive Mindset:

Hazard Identification: Did they point out potential risks you hadn't noticed, like loose cabinet locks or accessible cleaning supplies?

Constant Vigilance: Were they diligent about cutting food into non-choking sizes, securing stroller straps every time, and checking playground equipment before use?

Rule Enforcement: Did they consistently enforce safety rules, such as not running with objects in their mouth or holding hands when crossing the street?

For families dealing with specific health needs, this is a vital question: "How did they manage specific instructions related to allergies, medications, or other health concerns?"

This question tests a candidate's attention to detail and ability to follow critical instructions without deviation. Mistakes in this area can have severe consequences.

What to Ask: Be specific if you know the previous family had health protocols. For example, "My child has a severe nut allergy. I know your child did as well. How meticulous was the nanny about reading labels and managing cross-contamination?"

What to Listen For: You want to hear about a systematic and diligent approach. The reference should describe someone who was careful, asked clarifying questions if needed, and never took shortcuts. Any hint of carelessness or forgetfulness here is a significant red flag.

Finally, wrap up this section with a broad, feeling-based question: "Overall, did you have complete peace of mind regarding your children's safety when they were in charge?"

This question cuts through the details and gets to the heart of the matter. It asks the reference to summarize their entire experience into one crucial feeling: trust.

Listen to the Tone, Not Just the Words: An enthusiastic, immediate “Absolutely, 100%” is what you are hoping for.

Hesitation is a Warning: Any pause, hesitation, or qualified answer like, “Well, for the most part…” or “Yes, but…” is a major signal to dig deeper. Ask them to explain what caused their hesitation. True peace of mind is absolute, and anything less is not good enough for your child.

Once you're satisfied with their safety-related answers, the final step involves cross-referencing key details and learning to trust your intuition about any potential inconsistencies.

Having explored critical questions related to emergency preparedness and safety, your investigative journey now takes a crucial turn towards confirming details and identifying any potential issues before making a final decision.

As you near the culmination of your reference checks, the goal shifts from broad understanding to specific verification and the identification of any subtle warning signs. These final questions are designed to act as your ultimate due diligence, allowing you to cross-reference information, probe for deeper insights, and get a candid, unfiltered assessment of the candidate. This is where you separate fact from embellishment and intuition from hard evidence.

The integrity of a candidate's application hinges on the accuracy of the information they've provided. Use these questions to directly verify claims and assess the depth of their experience.

Question 21: "The candidate mentioned [specific skill or accomplishment from resume]. Can you tell me more about that?"

Purpose: This is a key question for verifying information presented on a resume or during an interview. Instead of simply accepting a stated skill or achievement, you're asking for the story behind it.

What to Listen For: Look for concrete examples, the challenges faced, the candidate's specific role, and the measurable outcomes. A strong reference will be able to elaborate with details that align with the candidate's own account. Vague or hesitant responses here can be a significant red flag, indicating that the accomplishment might be overstated or even fabricated.

Even the most polished candidates can have underlying issues that only a former colleague or supervisor can reveal. These questions are designed to bring those potential concerns to light.

Question 22: "Were there any habits or behaviors that concerned you?"

Purpose: This question directly asks about potential red flags in a professional setting. It invites the reference to share any areas where the candidate might have struggled or exhibited less-than-ideal conduct.

What to Listen For: Pay attention to details about work ethic, reliability, teamwork, conflict resolution, or adherence to company policies. If a reference hesitates or struggles to answer, press gently for specifics, emphasizing your commitment to finding the right fit for your team's culture.

Question 23: "Is there anything else at all that you think I should know?"

Purpose: This is arguably one of the most powerful, open-ended questions you can ask. It provides an opportunity for the reference to share any information they feel is pertinent, whether positive or negative, that you haven't directly asked about.

What to Listen For: Sometimes, the most valuable insights come from this unprompted disclosure. Listen not just to what they say, but how they say it. A long pause followed by a carefully worded statement could indicate a sensitive issue. Alternatively, it might reveal an unexpected strength.

Ultimately, the goal of a reference check is to gauge a former employer's overall satisfaction and their willingness to work with the candidate again.

Question 24: "What is the primary reason you would or would not recommend them?"

Purpose: This question forces the reference to distill their entire experience with the candidate into a single, concise recommendation. It helps you understand the core strengths or weaknesses that define the candidate's professional identity in the eyes of a former employer.

What to Listen For: A clear, confident answer, backed by specific examples, is ideal. Be wary of overly generic or lukewarm responses, as they may indicate a lack of enthusiasm or an attempt to avoid giving a negative assessment.

Question 25: "The most important question: Would you hire them again?"

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Purpose: This is the litmus test. There is no stronger endorsement or clearer caution than a direct answer to this question. It cuts through polite generalities and gets to the heart of the matter.

What to Listen For: Listen carefully to the tone and any hesitation in the response. An immediate, enthusiastic "Absolutely!" is a strong positive signal. Any pause, "It depends," or "Under certain circumstances" should prompt further probing. Ask why or what would need to be different?

During your conversations, certain responses or behaviors from the reference can serve as warning signs. Being aware of these common red flags can help you interpret the information more effectively.

While comprehensive reference checks provide invaluable qualitative insights, they should be supplemented with formal Background Checks for an added layer of security and verification. These checks can confirm employment history, education, criminal records, and sometimes even credit history, offering a quantitative safeguard against fraud and ensuring compliance with company policies and legal requirements.

Armed with these final insights from your detailed reference checks, you are now well-prepared to synthesize all the information and move towards making an informed and confident hiring decision.

Play Video

Frequently Asked Questions About Babysitter References: 25 Questions to Ask Before You Hire! Why is it important to check babysitter references?

Checking questions to ask babysitter references provides valuable insight into the babysitter's past performance, reliability, and suitability for caring for your children. It helps ensure your child's safety and well-being.

Focus your questions to ask babysitter references on the babysitter's experience, skills, personality, and how they handle specific situations. Ask about their punctuality, responsibility, and interactions with the children.

Contacting at least two or three questions to ask babysitter references is recommended. This helps you get a more comprehensive understanding of the babysitter's abilities and character.

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If you are unable to reach any of the provided questions to ask babysitter references, consider asking the babysitter for additional contacts. If you still cannot verify their experience, it might be wise to consider other candidates.

You've now armed yourself with the essential tools and questions to navigate the crucial process of vetting potential caregivers. By meticulously combining the insights from strong interviews with the invaluable, unfiltered feedback from babysitter references, you've moved beyond surface-level impressions to truly understand a candidate's childcare experience, reliability, discipline style, and emergency preparedness.

Remember to review all your notes, identifying patterns both positive and negative, and allow the weight of this thorough research to guide your intuition. The ultimate goal is to find a caregiver who not only possesses the right qualifications but also perfectly aligns with your family's unique needs, ensuring unwavering child safety and providing you with complete peace of mind. Trust your informed judgment; you've built a solid foundation for a confident hiring decision.